We're finally home!!

Thanks to everyone for their prayers and well wishes. We are finally home from the hospital. I wanted to give a quick rundown of what happened this week so I am just going to copy and paste what I wrote on my momys board about Anna's stay at the hospital.

It was an amazingly easy birth and I felt great afterwards. Anna did well too, they just told me that she had quite a bit of facial bruising. As an old NICU nurse I wasn't concerned because it happens alot but her face was really purple from the bruising.

About 8 hours later the pediatrician came and checked her out and said that she was perfectly healthy and that the bruising would go away in a few days. Side note: It turns out that it wasn't facial bruising at all.

About 10 minutes after she came in to talk to me she came back, but with another doctor. I didn't recognize him, but it turns out he was a new NICU doc. She then told me that while she was in here that Anna coded and had to be resuscitated. Usually they start resuscitation efforts on newborns well before they have no heartrate, but when they found her in the crib she had no heartrate and of course was not breathing. After working on her awhile they were able to get her heartrate back up to normal and she was breathing on her own. Of course she was immediately transferred to NICU.

I was told that she had a seizure but they weren't sure why. They suspected that she either had a heart defect, that she had bled into her brain or that she had an infection. They ran quite a few tests but all came back normal. The problem was that she kept turning blue. She hasn't had another episode since Monday night. They never have figured out what was causing them, except for some transitional issues, but decided to let her come home.

We possibly still have to go do a 2-D echo of the heart and are going to ask to be set up with an apnea monitor, but we are hoping that everything has resolved. We are thanking God that she is ok and that we got to bring her home. The doctors don't expect there to be any permanent damage, but we of course just have to wait and see. Right now she is acting as if nothing ever went wrong.

The nurses that resuscitated her told me that it was a miracle that they happened to walk by her when they did. Neither of them were supposed to be in there at that time. Another minute later and we might not be holding her right now.

So needless to say I am enjoying my sweet baby girl. I might be MIA for a few more days while I recoup from this week, but i'll be back soon. Again, thanks so much!

How do you afford all those children? - Part 2

When I am asked how we afford all of the children we have, I always point out how important it is to build up a great relationship with your children rather than buying them everything. I know that sounds like an answer you give when you are struggling to provide for your family. But before you think that my poor children are deprived of anything that would enrich their lives, that's not true. We do selectively let them participate in activities that we feel will be good for them.

Just as I covered the value of relationship within the family last time, I will try to cover a few of the actual logistics of how we can afford a big family on one income. You can read part 1 here. By all means, you do not have to do everything that we do. We try to make living a frugal life fun for our family, not a burden we must carry. We never want to feel as if we are missing out on anything. That is no example to anyone just how wonderful a large family can be.

Lately I have written a few posts on some of the frugal things we do as a family. The first thing I do is to plan a food budget, menu plan, and cook from scratch as often as possible. I have a $300 a month grocery budget but I have coming under that lately. Here are some of the posts that I have written about how we make that $300 work for us. You can also read my grocery budget series here.

1.We have a vegetable garden that we get many seasonal vegetables out of. We do a summer and fall garden. This is a great family project that the children love to help plan and do. You can read my post about our garden here.

2.From the excess in our garden we preserve what we can. We preserve by freezing and canning. It's much easier than you think. Of course I have lots of willing helping hands that make the work lighter. Sometimes I have too many helping hands, if you know what I mean. You can read my post about preserving food here.

3.We have our own chickens that give us eggs and meat. We do not get enough meat to last us the year though although we plan to do more next year. They are so much better tasting than store bought chicken, and way cheaper than what you'd pay for free range, hormone free at the store. This is another great family project. Even the little one loves to go and get eggs for Mommy. You can read my post about our girls here. This was a post that generated alot of response. Have fun reading it.

4. We make our own laundry detergent. Now I was getting my Tide He at CVS for nothing, but my youngest daughter has very sensitive skin and reacts to many different detergents. I found out that people actually made their own detergent so I had to try it. I was pleased that it worked so well and was easy to do. I have tried both the liquid and the powder version. You can read my post for my tutorial on the powdered kind here. I have also had quite a people ask me to post my recipe for my liquid version as well, so I did that.

The next thing we have done is started paying down bills. When I was working it wasn't really necessary to pay down anything. Now that I am home we have made it a goal to have all our extra debt paid off by the end of the year. We are well on our way to doing that. It is much easier to live with less debt. Once we pay off the debt, we will start saving for a house with more land.

Scott has been taking small side jobs painting since I have quit. It was to pay for all the extras and to pay down debt. Now he has actually become quite busy with it. God has blessed him so much, he now has a waiting list. Maybe one day this will become his full time profession, although he does have a great job right now.

There are some good resources out there for paying down debt. Dave Ramsey is the first one that comes to mind. Debt is a ball and chain for many people. With the economy the way it is, it is even more important to get out of debt.

I want to mention here that we live within our means. People are always buying more and more things, or bigger houses, or new cars. Yes, we could go and buy that big country house now, or we could get my husband the truck he's like to have, but would it make us happier? No, because we would have the extra debt that comes with it. Extra debt adds stress. Even if we could manage higher payments now, doesn't mean that we always will be able to. We might have to wait a few years, but those things will come. We are content with what we have right now. Contentment is a good lesson for anyone to learn.

Now, next on the list is clothing. Many people don't see how I can afford clothing for all of my children. Well, to be honest I really don't have to spend much here. We are given clothes from people on it seems a regular basis. Sometimes it is too much, so I pass the blessing on to other people who need it. I think we are first on people's minds when it comes to giving away clothes since we have a large family. People figure that someone in the house will fit in the clothes.

Usually I just have to fill in the gaps seasonally with what we're missing. For my older girls it helps to have young aunts that pass on nice clothes. For my younger girls I sew lots of their clothes and they are given quite a bit. I do sew some of the older girls skirts too. Even my younger son gets clothes passed on to him, thanks Carlie! It's usually my 10 yo son that I have to buy for the most. It seems as if most 10 yo boys are pretty hard on their clothes so nothing is really worth passing on after they're done with them.

Next thing that comes to mind is staying home. We stay home more than the average family. That means I save on gas, I save on food, I save because we're not involved in everything under the sun. Our home is the center of everything. Yes, we go out, but like I said we are home much more than anyone else I know. We manage to stay pretty busy here. Being home most of the time is something foreign to many people. It is a simpler life than most are used to, but it is a full life.

Last thing i'd like to talk about is activities. Our children do participate in a few select activities. They are involved in 4-H, which they all love. We participate in our local homeschool group by going on field trips, playdates, and PE. They are on their puppet team at church. They also participate in Awana. The two oldest girls will also be starting piano lessons in the fall. They are trading out babysitting two hours a week for free lessons. It works out wonderfully. All of these activities are low in cost and either teach the children or give them a chance to serve. The best thing is that it's not overwhelming.

At times it takes a different way of thinking and doing things to make it work in a large family. I can't always explain it well. We are a team. We need everyone on our team. Without one member we just wouldn't function as well. Even the youngest has her part. She is learning to work along side of us in our family. She is only two now, but in a few years even she will participate much more in our daily family life.

One last thought. I have spoken once before on the provision of God in our lives. Sometimes there is no other explanation except that God provides for us and meets all of our needs. While we work hard to make our family run well, we know that He gave us these children to raise so He will meet all of our needs according to His riches and glory.

Graphics courtesy of Allposters.com

How do you afford all those children? - Part 1

The first thing i'd like to say is that I will be writing this in two parts. The first part will be a background of sorts that has nothing to do with the financial side of raising children, but is just as important to say. The second part will cover the practical how to's that we apply in our family to be able to afford raising our children. So let me get started.

How in the world do you afford to feed and clothe all those children? Your husband must make really good money. I hear it all the time. I will say this, that while we are not living below the poverty line, we are by no means rich either.

I was just reading an article today that quoted the latest Dept of Agriculture's figures on how much money it takes to raise a child. They say that each American child costs an average of $204,060 to house, clothe, educate and entertain until the age of 18. I'm sure that does not include the cost of college either. That means it take $11,337.00 per year to raise one child.

If that were always true, then that means I would be spending $68,022.00 a year on my six children. I can definitely tell you that I am not spending that much. Does that mean I am depriving them? I think not.

The questions I get on how we actually make it work are legitimate concerns for most people. They just don't see how in the world I can really give all my children what they need. While this is not a post telling you to have a big family, I do want to show people that raising children can be done for less than what you think. Without making your children feel deprived, of course.

What do your children really need? Of course a home to live in that keeps the cold and the heat out, good food to eat, clean clothes that fit. That about covers the basic material needs for survival. Anything else we give them materially just adds comfort. Then, most importantly, they need need love, nurture, safety, support, guidance, relationship, training, and discipline. These are not written in any particular order, of course.

So then, why is it so expensive to have children? Is it really the rising costs of living? Let me share with you something I looked up. In 2006 the median family income was $48,201.00. By comparison, in 1955 the median family earned $4,919 (worth about $35,857 in 2006 dollars). That is less than what we make now, on average. Also, the average family size back then was 3.7 children. I think it is hovering right over 2 now.

Yes, things do cost more. I really think though, what has changed the most is our perception of what is needed. There is a difference between what we need to raise our children and what we want to give them.

It's completely natural to want to provide for, and give things to your children. It's what a loving parent wants to do, but don't let the things you give them be how you show them love. That's where it gets confusing for most of us.

I know that when I became pregnant with my first baby I told my husband that I wanted to give her everything that I didn't have. Now mind you, I wasn't neglected, but at a younger age I wasn't able to be involved in many things nor did I receive many of the things I asked for. I resented that.

As we added more children to our family we had to step back and evaluate how we were doing things. I felt that if I didn't let them be involved in more activities or give them more things, that my children would resent me too, like I did my own mother. I think it was at that moment that I realized that it wasn't the lack of involvement or the lack of things that I resented. It was the lack of relationship.

After that my priorities became clearer. I understood what my responsibilities as a parent were. Yes, I still give my children things. Yes, they are still involved in some extracurricular activities, but it is the relationship that I have with them that matters more than anything.

One thing I want to share with you is that we set goals for our children. A few of these goals are to:

*Raise our children to love the Lord

*Raise our children to become productive citizens. We want them to know how to run a household, how to have a good work ethic, etc..There are obviously more goals that we have for them, but I just wanted to share a quick glimpse with you.

So, what do we have to do as parents to help our children reach these goals? This is how we approach things when making decisions about what we give them or what they're involved in. It makes it much easier.

The responsibilities that we, as parents, have are those I listed at the beginning of this post. Besides the basics of providing them with food, clothing, and shelter. We are to give them love, nurture, safety, support, guidance, relationship, training, and discipline. When we apply these things, it's puts perspective on what's important and maybe not so important for our children.

Like I said, what I have written tonight isn't exactly the practical how to's that i'm known for, but this was just as important to say. It gives value to things that aren't material and encourages family relationships.

Home Organizing Binder

Today is Wednesday and it's time for another, "Works for me Wednesday." One thing that really worked well for me is a home organizing binder.

One of the biggest questions I get asked is how I keep up with everything and stay so organized. Ok, those of you who really know me can stop laughing now...really!

Seriously though, I love my lists! I have a list for everything. I have a to do list that covers anything that I have outside of my normal schedule. I also have a grocery list, a list for all of the weekly sales, a daily, weekly and monthly chore list, etc. You get the picture.

I love the feeling of knowing how my day should run. I thrive on a schedule. I am so busy taking care of my household, that without my lists and my schedule I would be lost.

The problem I began to have over time though, because of my list obsession, is that they began to take over. I had lists at the computer stand, at the table, on my headboard. They were everywhere. Of course with 6 children they would get misplaced and then I would panic and start having heart palpitations.

One day, while complaining to my sweet husband, he suggested to me that I keep all my lists in a central location. In something I could carry around with me. He actually gave me a binder and told me to put everything in there. Can you hear the choir in the background as that lightbulb went off in my head? Wow, why didn't I think of that?! Yes folks, he is a genius.

So now I have everything I need in my binder. It is my lifeline. Our main schedule is in there. I write all of my lists in there. I keep tips and tricks i've learned, my grocery price book, our chore charts, and more in there. Basically everything I need to run my house is in that binder.

I have since found that other women do the same thing, imagine that! If you are interested in making one for yourself, you can do a quick online search to get an idea of how others are making theirs. A really good one is Keepers at Home's Organizer. If you look at her page, it will give you an idea of just what you can include in your binder. Just remember that everyone's will be different because every family is different. I have tweaked mine several times over the years to fit our changing family.

Another great thing about my binder is that I hope to be able to share it with my girls one day, when they are ready to run their own household. I am actually working on one that I am decorating beautifully. I plan on doing the same for them. It's a little bit of me that I can pass on to them.

The Family Dinner Table: Making Memories

We all have memories of our childhood, whether good or bad, they are they engrained in our minds. As far as I can think back, I remember sitting on the couch eating dinner on tv trays in front of the tv. Mom was great at cooking dinner every night. As soon as it was done though, we all rushed to grab our food and eat in front of the tv. I can't even tell you what we were in such a hurry to watch.

Think about it. What are your memories of dinner time from when you were a child? I'm sure some of you have very fond memories and then others, not so fond.

Early in my marriage I continued the tradition my parents had started. Neither my husband or myself felt that it was necessary to eat at the table, so in front of the tv we ate. Eating dinner at the table was only for special occasions, like Thanksgiving and Christmas.

We continued to eat like this for many years until Scott and I started working opposite schedules. I worked nights and he worked days so we never saw eachother. We decided to start eating dinner at the table so that all of us could at least see eachother every day.

It was ok. We enjoyed it, but as I started cutting back hours at work I was home more. We slowly started reverting back to our old ways of doing things. It was the children who brought up eating together as a family again. We didn't realize it had made such an impact on them. They had never told us how much they loved it and how special it was to them.

At that point we talked it over together and decided to make it a point to eat together at least at dinner time. We did this initially for our children, but we have found that we love it as much as they do.

Is it always a wonderful experience where no one bickers and we have great, meaningful conversations? Not with 6 children! At first we had to train them, especially the littles ones, how to sit and wait for their food, to say grace, and then not to get up until they were given permission. I can guarantee that while it is not always picture perfect, most of the time things are great. It is actually quite humerous. We just enjoy being with eachother.

So you say, "What's the big deal about eating together at the table and not in the livingroom instead? Aren't we still eating together?" Yes, you are eating together, but you're missing the point. The point is to foster togetherness while building healthy relationships within the family. Your focus is on eachother and not the tv.

I have 5 great reasons why I think it's important to eat together as a family:

1. I've already mentioned this one earlier. It builds healthy relationships in the family. Are you to just sit at the table and eat in silence? No, of course not! Talk, laugh, be quiet at times. Just enjoy eachother.

2. It makes lasting memories that you and your children will be able to look back on with fondness. Hopefully, they will pass on this wonderful tradition to their familes too.

3. It forces you to slow down for just a bit. We all have such busy lives nowadays. This forces you to sit back and relax with your family for awhile.

4. It's a great time to have family devotions. It further opens the door for communication and gives spiritual training at the same time. Our children have felt more comfortable asking questions that they might be too embarrassed to ask in church. It's really wonderful to see a spiritual truth "click".

5. I had to throw this in, being frugal like I am. It usually means mom will have dinner planned, and cooked rather than eating out. Now it's not always the case, and even we order out at times. As a general rule though, you do plan meals and cook more.

Now, Scott works late at least a few days a week. God has blessed him with extra work, but it does make him late at times. On those days that I know he will be late, I serve snacks late and then we all eat together. I have little helpers that set the table and the olders are in charge, with mom's oversight of course, of making the table look pretty. After a hard day's work it sure is nice to sit down to a tastefully decorated table along with a hot cooked meal.

Can we always eat every meal together every day? No, sometimes we have something that comes up. We busy ourselves far too much at times. After seeing the benefits of eating together though, I have purposed in my heart to eat together at least once a day. We're making memories one meal at a time.

Tell me, do you find eating together as a family at the table important? Are there any special mealtime traditions that you do as a family?