We're finally home!!

Thanks to everyone for their prayers and well wishes. We are finally home from the hospital. I wanted to give a quick rundown of what happened this week so I am just going to copy and paste what I wrote on my momys board about Anna's stay at the hospital.

It was an amazingly easy birth and I felt great afterwards. Anna did well too, they just told me that she had quite a bit of facial bruising. As an old NICU nurse I wasn't concerned because it happens alot but her face was really purple from the bruising.

About 8 hours later the pediatrician came and checked her out and said that she was perfectly healthy and that the bruising would go away in a few days. Side note: It turns out that it wasn't facial bruising at all.

About 10 minutes after she came in to talk to me she came back, but with another doctor. I didn't recognize him, but it turns out he was a new NICU doc. She then told me that while she was in here that Anna coded and had to be resuscitated. Usually they start resuscitation efforts on newborns well before they have no heartrate, but when they found her in the crib she had no heartrate and of course was not breathing. After working on her awhile they were able to get her heartrate back up to normal and she was breathing on her own. Of course she was immediately transferred to NICU.

I was told that she had a seizure but they weren't sure why. They suspected that she either had a heart defect, that she had bled into her brain or that she had an infection. They ran quite a few tests but all came back normal. The problem was that she kept turning blue. She hasn't had another episode since Monday night. They never have figured out what was causing them, except for some transitional issues, but decided to let her come home.

We possibly still have to go do a 2-D echo of the heart and are going to ask to be set up with an apnea monitor, but we are hoping that everything has resolved. We are thanking God that she is ok and that we got to bring her home. The doctors don't expect there to be any permanent damage, but we of course just have to wait and see. Right now she is acting as if nothing ever went wrong.

The nurses that resuscitated her told me that it was a miracle that they happened to walk by her when they did. Neither of them were supposed to be in there at that time. Another minute later and we might not be holding her right now.

So needless to say I am enjoying my sweet baby girl. I might be MIA for a few more days while I recoup from this week, but i'll be back soon. Again, thanks so much!

How do you afford all those children? - Part 2

When I am asked how we afford all of the children we have, I always point out how important it is to build up a great relationship with your children rather than buying them everything. I know that sounds like an answer you give when you are struggling to provide for your family. But before you think that my poor children are deprived of anything that would enrich their lives, that's not true. We do selectively let them participate in activities that we feel will be good for them.

Just as I covered the value of relationship within the family last time, I will try to cover a few of the actual logistics of how we can afford a big family on one income. You can read part 1 here. By all means, you do not have to do everything that we do. We try to make living a frugal life fun for our family, not a burden we must carry. We never want to feel as if we are missing out on anything. That is no example to anyone just how wonderful a large family can be.

Lately I have written a few posts on some of the frugal things we do as a family. The first thing I do is to plan a food budget, menu plan, and cook from scratch as often as possible. I have a $300 a month grocery budget but I have coming under that lately. Here are some of the posts that I have written about how we make that $300 work for us. You can also read my grocery budget series here.

1.We have a vegetable garden that we get many seasonal vegetables out of. We do a summer and fall garden. This is a great family project that the children love to help plan and do. You can read my post about our garden here.

2.From the excess in our garden we preserve what we can. We preserve by freezing and canning. It's much easier than you think. Of course I have lots of willing helping hands that make the work lighter. Sometimes I have too many helping hands, if you know what I mean. You can read my post about preserving food here.

3.We have our own chickens that give us eggs and meat. We do not get enough meat to last us the year though although we plan to do more next year. They are so much better tasting than store bought chicken, and way cheaper than what you'd pay for free range, hormone free at the store. This is another great family project. Even the little one loves to go and get eggs for Mommy. You can read my post about our girls here. This was a post that generated alot of response. Have fun reading it.

4. We make our own laundry detergent. Now I was getting my Tide He at CVS for nothing, but my youngest daughter has very sensitive skin and reacts to many different detergents. I found out that people actually made their own detergent so I had to try it. I was pleased that it worked so well and was easy to do. I have tried both the liquid and the powder version. You can read my post for my tutorial on the powdered kind here. I have also had quite a people ask me to post my recipe for my liquid version as well, so I did that.

The next thing we have done is started paying down bills. When I was working it wasn't really necessary to pay down anything. Now that I am home we have made it a goal to have all our extra debt paid off by the end of the year. We are well on our way to doing that. It is much easier to live with less debt. Once we pay off the debt, we will start saving for a house with more land.

Scott has been taking small side jobs painting since I have quit. It was to pay for all the extras and to pay down debt. Now he has actually become quite busy with it. God has blessed him so much, he now has a waiting list. Maybe one day this will become his full time profession, although he does have a great job right now.

There are some good resources out there for paying down debt. Dave Ramsey is the first one that comes to mind. Debt is a ball and chain for many people. With the economy the way it is, it is even more important to get out of debt.

I want to mention here that we live within our means. People are always buying more and more things, or bigger houses, or new cars. Yes, we could go and buy that big country house now, or we could get my husband the truck he's like to have, but would it make us happier? No, because we would have the extra debt that comes with it. Extra debt adds stress. Even if we could manage higher payments now, doesn't mean that we always will be able to. We might have to wait a few years, but those things will come. We are content with what we have right now. Contentment is a good lesson for anyone to learn.

Now, next on the list is clothing. Many people don't see how I can afford clothing for all of my children. Well, to be honest I really don't have to spend much here. We are given clothes from people on it seems a regular basis. Sometimes it is too much, so I pass the blessing on to other people who need it. I think we are first on people's minds when it comes to giving away clothes since we have a large family. People figure that someone in the house will fit in the clothes.

Usually I just have to fill in the gaps seasonally with what we're missing. For my older girls it helps to have young aunts that pass on nice clothes. For my younger girls I sew lots of their clothes and they are given quite a bit. I do sew some of the older girls skirts too. Even my younger son gets clothes passed on to him, thanks Carlie! It's usually my 10 yo son that I have to buy for the most. It seems as if most 10 yo boys are pretty hard on their clothes so nothing is really worth passing on after they're done with them.

Next thing that comes to mind is staying home. We stay home more than the average family. That means I save on gas, I save on food, I save because we're not involved in everything under the sun. Our home is the center of everything. Yes, we go out, but like I said we are home much more than anyone else I know. We manage to stay pretty busy here. Being home most of the time is something foreign to many people. It is a simpler life than most are used to, but it is a full life.

Last thing i'd like to talk about is activities. Our children do participate in a few select activities. They are involved in 4-H, which they all love. We participate in our local homeschool group by going on field trips, playdates, and PE. They are on their puppet team at church. They also participate in Awana. The two oldest girls will also be starting piano lessons in the fall. They are trading out babysitting two hours a week for free lessons. It works out wonderfully. All of these activities are low in cost and either teach the children or give them a chance to serve. The best thing is that it's not overwhelming.

At times it takes a different way of thinking and doing things to make it work in a large family. I can't always explain it well. We are a team. We need everyone on our team. Without one member we just wouldn't function as well. Even the youngest has her part. She is learning to work along side of us in our family. She is only two now, but in a few years even she will participate much more in our daily family life.

One last thought. I have spoken once before on the provision of God in our lives. Sometimes there is no other explanation except that God provides for us and meets all of our needs. While we work hard to make our family run well, we know that He gave us these children to raise so He will meet all of our needs according to His riches and glory.

Graphics courtesy of Allposters.com

Saving money by bartering

I am always trying to find new and creative ways to save money, but this week for my Frugal Friday post I want to talk about an idea of saving money that goes way back. Bartering!!

Bartering is a great way to save money for items or services that you need. It goes back as long as there have been people. It has almost become non-existent, but there are people who are trying to revive it. With the cost of just about everything sky-rocketing, bartering can be an invaluable tool to saving money.

Currently my family is receiving haircuts free for an entire year because we bartered with someone. She needed a paint job and we always need haircuts. It has been a win-win situation. Thanks, Carol!

I know of a lady who bakes bread for someone who sells free-range eggs. It's an even trade off for them. They get bread and she gets eggs. There are so many different things you can barter for. You do not have to have a professional skill to be able to do it. You could even trade off babysitting. The are many unique possibilities when it comes to bartering.

Here in our area we have a bartering ring. It is actually called a business exchange. You can look in your area to see if they have one set up. Ours is called Lafayette Business Exchange. If your area has one it may called something similar.

If you don't have any professional services to trade or your area doesn't have anything set up then ask people you know. It never hurts to ask someone to see if they would be interested in trading services or goods. A good place to start is the people you go to church with. Even neighbors or friends.

Bartering is fun and definitely frugal. The best part is, not only are you blessed, but someone else is too. For more frugal tips, visit Crystal's blog for Frugal Friday's.

How do you afford all those children? - Part 1

The first thing i'd like to say is that I will be writing this in two parts. The first part will be a background of sorts that has nothing to do with the financial side of raising children, but is just as important to say. The second part will cover the practical how to's that we apply in our family to be able to afford raising our children. So let me get started.

How in the world do you afford to feed and clothe all those children? Your husband must make really good money. I hear it all the time. I will say this, that while we are not living below the poverty line, we are by no means rich either.

I was just reading an article today that quoted the latest Dept of Agriculture's figures on how much money it takes to raise a child. They say that each American child costs an average of $204,060 to house, clothe, educate and entertain until the age of 18. I'm sure that does not include the cost of college either. That means it take $11,337.00 per year to raise one child.

If that were always true, then that means I would be spending $68,022.00 a year on my six children. I can definitely tell you that I am not spending that much. Does that mean I am depriving them? I think not.

The questions I get on how we actually make it work are legitimate concerns for most people. They just don't see how in the world I can really give all my children what they need. While this is not a post telling you to have a big family, I do want to show people that raising children can be done for less than what you think. Without making your children feel deprived, of course.

What do your children really need? Of course a home to live in that keeps the cold and the heat out, good food to eat, clean clothes that fit. That about covers the basic material needs for survival. Anything else we give them materially just adds comfort. Then, most importantly, they need need love, nurture, safety, support, guidance, relationship, training, and discipline. These are not written in any particular order, of course.

So then, why is it so expensive to have children? Is it really the rising costs of living? Let me share with you something I looked up. In 2006 the median family income was $48,201.00. By comparison, in 1955 the median family earned $4,919 (worth about $35,857 in 2006 dollars). That is less than what we make now, on average. Also, the average family size back then was 3.7 children. I think it is hovering right over 2 now.

Yes, things do cost more. I really think though, what has changed the most is our perception of what is needed. There is a difference between what we need to raise our children and what we want to give them.

It's completely natural to want to provide for, and give things to your children. It's what a loving parent wants to do, but don't let the things you give them be how you show them love. That's where it gets confusing for most of us.

I know that when I became pregnant with my first baby I told my husband that I wanted to give her everything that I didn't have. Now mind you, I wasn't neglected, but at a younger age I wasn't able to be involved in many things nor did I receive many of the things I asked for. I resented that.

As we added more children to our family we had to step back and evaluate how we were doing things. I felt that if I didn't let them be involved in more activities or give them more things, that my children would resent me too, like I did my own mother. I think it was at that moment that I realized that it wasn't the lack of involvement or the lack of things that I resented. It was the lack of relationship.

After that my priorities became clearer. I understood what my responsibilities as a parent were. Yes, I still give my children things. Yes, they are still involved in some extracurricular activities, but it is the relationship that I have with them that matters more than anything.

One thing I want to share with you is that we set goals for our children. A few of these goals are to:

*Raise our children to love the Lord

*Raise our children to become productive citizens. We want them to know how to run a household, how to have a good work ethic, etc..There are obviously more goals that we have for them, but I just wanted to share a quick glimpse with you.

So, what do we have to do as parents to help our children reach these goals? This is how we approach things when making decisions about what we give them or what they're involved in. It makes it much easier.

The responsibilities that we, as parents, have are those I listed at the beginning of this post. Besides the basics of providing them with food, clothing, and shelter. We are to give them love, nurture, safety, support, guidance, relationship, training, and discipline. When we apply these things, it's puts perspective on what's important and maybe not so important for our children.

Like I said, what I have written tonight isn't exactly the practical how to's that i'm known for, but this was just as important to say. It gives value to things that aren't material and encourages family relationships.

The frugal life, is it just for hard times?

I was reading Carlie's post on how more and more people are jumping on the frugal bandwagon. While that is exciting to me, being the frugal woman I am, I think that some people are doing it because of the recent hype. I hope with all that is happening in our economy maybe a few people will make some changes.

At the end of the post, though, she asked how others are preparing ahead for any bad times ahead. Well, I thought that I would address what we are doing here since my comment was already way too long over there.

This is the comment I left at her blog.

I am not one to listen to all the media hype. Before you boo me, i'm not saying that people aren't feeling a pinch from the jump in the cost of living. We all are! Just remember, the economy has its ups and downs all the time. It's an election year so everything that could be a possible platform for the candidates to discuss is hyped up. It's what draws the ratings up. I am glad that people are starting to take a look at spending habits though. Now, I will step down off of my soapbox.

We have been living frugally for quite awhile. I chose this out of necessity at first, but I live it now because it is a fulfilling way to live. Some of our frugal goals this year are to pay off all debt except for the house, cut back on grocery spending--->done, reduce energy costs, and cut down on our monthly gas spending--->we have cut down on the amount we use, but we are still paying the same amount as before since the prices have shot up. It's always great to be prepared, but don't panic. Use this time to reduce spending and pay off that debt! :-)

As I mentioned earlier in my comment, yes we are coming into some lean times, but don't panic. It is always a wise thing to be prepared for anything that may come our way.

Before I talk about what we're doing as a family, i'd like to share a few traps that people fall into.

The first trap I see is that we, as a society, have become used to a high standard of living. Instead of working and saving for something, we all want to get it now. Why not, when you can make a small payment every month? "Oh, don't worry," some say, "We'll have this paid off in no time. We're due for a raise, or we'll pay it off with our taxes or our bonus." How many of us have said some of these things, but when it came down to it we didn't pay it off? This has increased the panic in many people because they can barely make ends meet now due to the heavy debt burden they carry.

Another trap I see is people spending way too much money in general. I know that for the longest time Scott and I thought we were entitled to spend our extra money. We worked long and hard for that money, so why not! Does that sound familiar? Yes, it's true that we do work for what we have and we do need a little recreational time every now and then. Does this entitle us to spend so much? No.

I know this is not a popular answer, but if you are in debt and living paycheck to paycheck, then instead of spending your extra money, you need to be saving it and paying off that debt. Then you can budget in a little more for recreational spending down the road.

Lastly, people just haven't been taught how to manage a household budget. When I was first married I had no concept of budgeting. At the end of the month I couldn't figure out where all my money went. Frequently we couldn't finish paying the bills eventhough we brought in more than we had to pay out. Many times we were either late on the bills or we used our credit card to pay a bill or buy food. We are still paying for those times 15 years later. Ouch!

So, what can you do to make it through the tough times, or to at least prepare yourself? I'll share with you some of the things we have done and are doing.

1. Put some money into savings, and do it now!
One of the best things we have done is to start a savings account. I don't know many times we would get ahead only to have something else happen that would set us back. How frustrating is that! Now that we have some in savings, if the car breaks down, or the a/c goes out in the house we can pay for it without having to use a credit card! We just start putting back into savings again the next month.

2. Pay off those credit cards
Like I mentioned earlier, we are still paying for mistakes made almost 15 years ago because of credit cards.
Debt is a huge ball and chain. It kept me working when I wanted to come home for many years. We just didn't feel like we could make it on just Scott's income. Between a huge mortgage, two car notes, student loans, credit card debt, most people are drowning just like we were.

Scott and I have a goal to owe on only our house by the end of the year. He is working alot right now so that we can do this. I do everything I can at home to help stretch that money. After we have that paid off we will start putting aside money for a bigger house. I have no desire to have a bigger mortgage, so it means we will be saving for awhile. I'd love to buy a house debt free, but we'll see.

3. Start a budget
This is important. You've got to know where your money is going. It is so easy to spend a little here and there and then before you know it, it's all gone.

While i'm talking about it. Start paying cash for things that you can. I get $150.00 every two weeks for groceries in cash. When it's gone, it's gone. You will spend less if you have just cash, so leave all those cards, including your debit card, at home.

4. Cut back
Where can I save money? Can I cut back on food? What will I need to do to cut back in this area? Maybe you need to learn to cook from scratch more, or how to use coupons, or even start a vegetable garden in the backyard.

To cut back on gas, maybe you need to stay home more or get rid of one of the vehicles.

There are many places in our budgets that can be cut back without making us feel like we are deprived.

If you have to cut back on cable, what can you do that's fun to replace it? Rent movies from the library or redbox. Read a book together as a family. Go outside more. It's not about what you don't have. You might actually be surprised that some of these changes can make your life better.

5. Cut back on energy costs
Change your lightbulbs to CFL's. Turn your thermostat up. Wash clothes in cold water as much as possible. Make sure you have adequate insulation. Put weather stripping around doors, caulk leaky windows. Hang up curtains that are darker so they keep the heat out in the summer and the cold out in the winter. There are many ways you can cut costs here, these were just a few off the top of my head that we have done.

This is just some of the things we have done or are currently doing. while it will still be awhile before we reach our goal, were something to happen we would be able to weather it.

To live a truly frugal lifestyle requires a different way of looking at things than you have in the past. Frugalness is not just for hard times. It is a very fulfilling way to live. One last thing i'd like to leave with you. Eventhough a storm comes our way, just remember that God provides for us. this has proved to be true over and over for us. I just recently wrote on God's provision. Prepare, cut back, pray....but don't fret.

God's Provision

I was having a conversation with my neighbor the other day on the topic of how my husband and I make ends meet. As I started telling her some of the things we do, God reminded me of the many times He has provided for us. What a blessing to be able to share that with her.

Just today a lady was asking how we were going to prepare for the upcoming grocery price increases. The news is out and people are starting to worry.

My first thought in how to answer her question was a step by step, detailed list of how we do things now, and how we plan to prepare. Again, as I started answering, that still small voice reminded me that we needed to trust in Him first. The scriptures that keep coming to my mind are:

Hebrews 13:5 Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Deuteronomy 31:8 “And the LORD, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.”

Matthew 6:25-34 "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own"

I am a list person. I think that I have our whole lives planned out on paper. It is a security blanket of sorts for me. God has been reminding me, that although all my lists and plans are good, that His provision is what will really see us through.

Just as I was able to give a testimony to my neighbor of the faithfulness of God, I will be able to continue to share with others in the upcoming times ahead on how God has taken care of us time and time again.

I know that in the last two years I have been home full-time, I have seen that to be true over and over. Whether it be from Scott getting extra work, people bringing over clothes, or God teaching me how to be frugal. We have always had enough. It is only by the grace of God that I can say we are better off financially now, than when I worked.

So, while we plan and while we learn to be better stewards of the money God had entrusted to us, let us not forget of God's provision. He cares enough for us that He will take care of us no matter what comes our way.

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