Wednesday, May 1, 2013

The End Of Me

I am a person who likes to fix everything and everyone. Lots of us are like that. As soon as one problem comes up I am coming up with different scenarios to fix it.

I have had, in the past, a plan A, B, C… 

Of course, God has always been my plan A, 
BUT if He didn’t come through I always had my other plans in place so I could go to if I needed. I did not rest until it was all settled.

There really hasn’t been many times in my life that I couldn’t fix what was broken
and make it right again.

I was super woman…super mom…
placed on this pedestal for all to be amazed at.

On the outside at least.
But I was so broken on the inside and I didn’t even know it. I thought I was fixing myself.
That is until God brought me to a place where He humbled me. He brought me to a place so broken where I depended on Him for every beat of my heart. 

No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn’t will my heart to beat. This was something I just could not fix. I had to depend on Him for my life.

I remember telling God,
when my heartbeat was 28 and I could literally feel my life leaving my body; that I couldn’t fix myself this time. That He would have to come through for me. There was no plan B or C, but I knew He could heal me if it was His will. You know what He said to me? All I heard was one word,


In the Bible it says:

We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, 
about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. In fact, we expected to die. 
But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead. And He did rescue us from mortal danger, and He will rescue us again. We have placed our confidence in Him, and He will continue to rescue us.

2 Corinthians 1:8-10

I had come to the end of myself.
It is that place where you know God has to intervene.
There is nothing that you can do.

You cannot rely on yourself, you have to rely on God.

He brings us to that place of total dependence and brokenness and that’s when He takes those broken pieces of our lives and redeems them,
to make them something good. It’s when He can come in and change us and then we can go out
and share what God has done in us.

God cannot multiply until something is broken!

He shows up right at that moment of the impossible.
Where we can’t fix it, where we can’t change ourselves,
where we can’t clean up the mess we’ve made and makes it all right. 

This is so He gets the glory. So we realize that it is God who did it, and not anyone else. That place where we aren’t working so hard, striving, begging to make things right in our life. Where we aren’t wrestling every day to change ourselves. It’s when we surrender and say, “God, I can’t do this. I can’t change myself.
I can’t make this happen, but you can. I don’t know where I’m going, but you do!”

In my circumstance I needed God to save my mortal body and my inner self. For you, maybe it’s something you’ve wanted to change but just haven’t been able to overcome. Maybe it’s a promise God has spoken to you that hasn’t come to pass yet.You are trying to figure out how to make it happen.
Maybe you’re trying to figure out what’s the next step to take in your life?

The Bible says:

Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. 
Psalm 37:4

The Hebrew meaning for delight actually means 
to be dependent on God and to derive one’s pleasure from Him.

It is at that point, when we depend on God, that He gives us the desires of our heart.
The desire to change, to let it go and let God do it.
Our desire is Him, and it’s what He gives us.
It is He who does the changing. It is He who brings those things in our lives that He has promised.
It is He who guides us and gives us direction.

So, I encourage you today, to come to the end of yourself.


Monday, April 1, 2013

Who's The Boss?

Who’s The Boss?

Matthew 26:36-46 paints for us a picture of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane just hours before his arrest, which led to His death on the cross.

This is a beautiful story of how Jesus’ love for us and His submission to the will of His Father led to salvation for all mankind. In verse 39 it says that Jesus prayed, “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”

Thank God he submitted to God’s will. It is so easy for us to think of Jesus as our savior, but He is much more than that. Yes, He came to save us, but He is also our Lord! That means He is our master or our supreme authority. Can we say to Him, “I want your will to be done, not mine?”

Every day we are in a battle. We will never win if we don’t submit to our Lord. If you’re anything like me, you do a pretty good job of making a mess of things when you depend on yourself. God wants us to entrust our lives to Him.

To submit ourselves to God we have to have faith and trust Him that He is good and has our best interest at heart. He is sovereign; that means He has everything under control. He knows all and sees all. He is not a hands off God who leaves us on our own.

Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares for you. Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are.
1 Peter 5:7-9

He cares for you, that’s why He wants you to submit to His authority. 

Not because He wants to make you miserable. Not because He is a tyrant.

 It’s because when you let things go and give them to God he can take them and make them good. He can redeem them. 

He can change you and bless you beyond all you can imagine.

I'd like to end by saying this, “Understanding authority is a great display of faith.” To submit to authority requires faith in that person. Do you trust Him enough to give up the control you've held onto? Do you trust him to take care of you? To guide your footsteps?

Remember this,
He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:29-31

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Lord, send me...

I remember as a little girl, somewhere about seven or eight, waking up in the middle of the night. Instead of waking up my parents I turned on the TV. They didn't have all night cartoons back then so I just watched what was on. It was a program about children in different areas of the world who were sick and literally starving to death. I remember just crying and crying until I fell asleep on the couch. I had never seen anything like that before. The next morning I talked to my parents about what I had seen. They tried their best to explain what is difficult for even an adult, but it just haunted me. It was at that point that I decided that I was going to be a doctor in one of those places I had seen and help those children.

Once I gave my heart to the Lord I just knew that I would be a missionary in some remote village. God actually told me that He had called me to missions. I began preparing. In high school I took all the courses I would need that would help me in college to become a doctor or a nurse. I got married, but I still went to college and became an RN. My heart was for foreign missions. I never had another plan or goal, but God did.

It’s funny how we have our lives so planned out, but God has something completely different for us. Fast forward to today. I have been married almost 20 years and have 8 wonderful children. I never did go to that remote village. In fact, until last month I had never even been on a plane. There is something that God showed me though. It was in one of those times where I thought I would never be used by Him. I was just taking care of children and my home.

He showed me that I am a missionary. My mission field has been in my home, my church, and my community. I have been discipling my children and serving where I can.

We are all called to missions. Some of us will go across the world and others will stay here, but we all do our part. Nothing is more important than doing what God has called you to at this time. Being a momma and discipling my children is no less important than traveling to that village to save those children.

Even in learning to be content in what God has called me to be, I have never lost the hope that one day He would let me go. That He would send me. I am happy to say, that last month I was able to go. I traveled with a group of women to Romania to minister at a women's conference. It is a dream that was almost forgotten, but God didn't forget. It is a dream I tucked away in a little corner of my private thoughts never really thinking that it would be possible now that I am a mother of many. I can just see the smile on His face when He was preparing this trip for me.

Be content where God has you, but know that God has placed those dreams in you. I know that I am whole heartily praying that He will allow me to go back one day very soon!

- Teresa